My Asian Minority Thoughts On "Cornball"

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Think cornrows and everyone thinks Bo. This movie should be remade and in the part of short dude that gets to do it with an Amazon hottie...c'est moi.

 When my serotonin level is just right, and I have the correct amount of stone going on, and (there is always an and), and I'm feeling spunky and all comedy-like...yeah, I say outrageous shit. Because I'm Asian I feel like I can say shit like "Hey gook, git yer arse over here," or "shut the fuck up you fuckin' Jap," or the Filipino one "You are a F.O.B." Racist? Not to me. In the right circumstance, to me it's totally funny. Here's where I draw the line.

Recently Rob Parker of ESPN showed that he is still in, like, the 1950's or something. He was talking about the rookie quarterback Robert Griffen the third (aka RGIII), and asked outloud to a national audience (sit down this is so stupid)...(clear my throat)...if RGIII is black enuff. No shit. He didn't say those words, what he said was "...is RGIII a cornball brother?" Lemmie take a sip of my breakfast beer right now, otherwise my head might explode.

This dude was on the Kings...when they were good. 

I'll admit that at first I didn't know what "cornball" was...I'm more used to the equally as dumb term..."house nigger (fuckin' yucky, man)." Why does this male hetero Asian atheist care...I grew up with black people in myyyyyyyy family. In fact my family looks like the United Nations. In fact, the United Nations thinks my family is diverse (ha ha). Anyhoo...

I have seen first hand what it is to be black here in the states. Growing up in the 70's grandma would tell us "..and when you get there, don't act ghetto." That wasn't really about us, it was about how people perceived us. Sometimes I take things so personally that one would think that I-iiiiii think that I'm black. Besides that, the battle for equality and civil rights (as well as LGBT rights) is the very same battle as the battle for secular society.

Just like when I hate it when Team Atheist fights within our community, I equally hate it when my beautiful black brothers and sisters are infighting. Both communities need more and better unity, not stupid infighting and name calling. There should be no senseless calling out of your/our teammates. Unity unity unity.

So why did Parker ask if  RGIII is indeed a "cornball brother?" Oh gee, just the *important* and *valid* reasons like he has a white girlfriend and he is republican. I'm serious. That's what Parker said. So according to Parker, RGIII is not black enuff. RGIII is not down with the cause (I think he did say that, but I'm not going to look for it.). I'm going to try and keep this relatively short, but I want y'all to know that this topic gets me Filipino-angry (1).

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By making a ridiculous statement like that what Parker is implying is that in order to be black in America one needs to tow the line by being, gee I dunno, incarcerated, a thug, a gangster, being uneducated, only date within race/color and vote democrat (I can go on but I will not). A pathetic side note, Parker did give RGIII props...for having cornrows. Did I say pathetic.

Look man, I'll admit that when Clarence Thomas was being vetted for the Supreme Court and even when Colin Powell bust out onto the political scene...I called them "house niggers." The difference between Parker and I is this: I was wayyyyyyy younger than he and I eventually changed my mind. When I went to the Philippines I was chastised for not knowing my language, Tagalog. Wanna get me totally pissed, tell me I'm not Filipino enuff because I (like many many other first generation-ers) don't speak *island*. You can fight city hall, but you can't fight or deny...DNA.

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It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round and round, and lucky for us that is what we have. Even better than that is the fact that within any particular race, there is an incredible amount of diversity. Not all Filipino's are sissy mama's boys with typical Asian haircuts (2) and not all black peeps live the thug life (thank nonexistent Gawd). That is what is cool about diversity.

There has been too great an effort from the civil rights crowd to let this pass without reflection and education. We have come to far to go back to thinking like this.

(1) That's my attempt at a joke because that is a stereotype.

* F.O.B. means fresh off the boat. As far as insults go I think this one is rather weak...it's still an insult tho.

* I also say teh crazy like honky and/or cracker. I usually don't say redneck...because I'm a redneck. Don't forget, I grew up in the country.

* Name calling is only cool if I do it. I don't make the rules, I just acknowledge them.

* These white people are not white. They are not towing the line. They have cornrows.

(2) One of my arch enemies is the *traditional* first generation Filipino totally straight conservative bad haircut sexist macho probably pretty good looking in fact so good looking that he is often times perceived to be teh gay super clean cut and the worst part...blindly loves his harsh mean...mommy. I'm the opposite of all that. Fuck everybody other than that...have a nice day and stay warm.