The Rip Van Winkle Edition

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I forgot to what extent I have been chronicling my crappy sleep (I like sharing, but really, too much sharing and honesty is not good for The Kriss), insomnia, my recent snoring, sleep apnea and fighting monsters in my dream-mares as I walk around looking for things and punching and kicking brick walls in reality (remind me to apologize to the walls later, I keep forgetting that also)  and now...sleeping from Saturday nite to about an hour ago. I should really call this one the groggy eyed edition. You know what, I forgot why I even started this this. OK then...News Roundup Time.).

I haven't done anything different to make me sleep so much. If I was drinking too much, fo sho, I would admit it.

What a difference a year makes. At this time last year I was so pissed at myyyyy Phoney Niner's that I didn't watch any of their games and I didn't even read the sports section...the whole season. Well now (for no sane reason at all) I have forgiven the Niner's, I didn't watch yesterdays game (being asleep and all) but I do feel confident enuff to pick up the evil sports sections and read about my boys. Oh freekin' boy...

Not these Forty Niner's...the other ones.

Atheist-geek-nerds probably didn't play team sports growing up (that is why you are so freekin' smart right now. Just look at my sister) but it is kinda a shame because the heroics oozed outta the sports section today. Yeah...oozed.

The kicker David "you'll never make it in this league" Akers hit an epic before halftime field goal to give the Niner's (that fictional) momentum that people keep talking about. It is that momentum that made them crazy awesome in the second half and that is why they won (this MUST be debunked...and by me. hopefully soon). Lil' Davey not only hit an epic goal, he made it into the league inspite of doubters and haters and not only that that, he is still in the league after being cut from teams for being too old. Bravo my man. That is called tenacity and perseverance.

Just because you went to prison, did your time and started playing pro football doesn't mean you have redemption. Look man football is a game, killing dogs for no reason is unethical and super bad. The same goes for you Rape-lessburger. It doesn't matter how many games you win, you still raped that girl in the bar.

Howz about redemption. It's not just for religious people. Myyyyy quarterback, Alex smith and myyyyyy receiver, Randy Moss, hooked up for a touchdown pass in yesterday's game. It's not that out of the ordinary until you consider some things. Moss didn't play ball last year and has a reputation of being a douche. I don't like him, well, until he scores touchdowns for my team. Even tho, I halfta admit that dude came thru (so far) and he has had some sort of...redemption (1).

Really, he had a great 1st year with Norv Turner as OC, and the next 6 years was not his fault (c'mon the ball control of Nolan and the Christian "we will impose or will" of Mike Singeltary. there are no quarterbacks that wouled be good in that situation. none.

As far as Smith at q-back. Having 7 crappy seasons in a row is not a crime (it just sucks). His redemption is of the stick-it-too-of-ness kind. Smith had a heroic season last year and opened this season by defeating the dude that everyone compares him to, Aaron Rogers. If you don't understand why this is heroic, I certainly can't explain it to you. Just know that it is.

Just know that this is a lesson that Team Atheist, Team Skeptic, Team Secular, Team Feminist...stick-it-too-of-ness, determination in the face of being hated on, being knocked down and getting back up, redemption and yea kiddies...team fuckin' work.

Go Niner's

One day I'll make a movie called The Redemption of Kriss, but first I halfta fuck up on something and then make an awesome against all odds come back. Stay tuned. 

OK, nowwwwww I'm getting down to some religion news roundup stuffs....

16 Muslim preachers were shot dead in Mali. Howz that for the Religion of Peace. Of course the world is asking why fuckin' why...Not only does God care about who and how you have sex with, what you eat and on certain days, he also cares about facial hair. Beards.

This is where Christian minorities live bedcause they hadta skeedattle from their homes, ya know, because of the Religion of Peace and all.  

While I was sleep-marathoning the Pakistan Christian girl that was in jail for "allegedly" desecrating the qu'ran was set free and wouldn't cha know it...an Iman set the little girl up. Evil and bad clergy, go figure.

Yea-ish. Praise Morman Jesus (you stupid American Christian evangelicals). 

The Billionare Baseball Glove has declared that he will not take God outta all stuffs that is americanz. This (must be) a direct reference to the DNC for not including a reference to the All Mighty in the second to final draft of their platform. Recall last week that the DNC was pounced upon for not mentioning God, then they caved in to the GOP's game plan and slipped dude into the final final draft.

This is where GOP trickery comes into play. They are claiming that by not mentioning God in the original draft is the same as talking God outta the public square and the Dems war on religion. It's quite a leap. After all there are so many things/people and places that were not mentioned in the original draft,  so does that mean a lack of mention is a declared war on all those things not mentioned. To Team GOP it is.

Back in the day peeps only had four fingers. Like the Simpsons.

So what does the Mormon baseball glove do. Make sure to include "proper" mentions of God in speeches to please the old stoggies in the GOP. That's OK by this atheist, the thing that is wrong is their deceiving and reference to history.

"" The pledge says under God." I will not take God out of our platform. I will not take God off of our coins and I will not take God out of my heart." said the Billionaire running for Prez.

Is it to crazy to believe that one person, one person, an advisor or fiend 1) knows that the mention of God on money and in the pledge is an interpolation and 2) would they have the kindness or courage to tell Mitt of those facts to save him from the wrath of atheist bloggers like myself. I'll do this from memory (like I always do) but was it in 54' that the All mighty started to appear on American currency (yes, no, maybe). All that matters is that there was no mention of God, then all of a sudden God is mentioned. What matters is that the common American voter (Dem/Rebub) is being deceived into thinking that mention of god was there all along (I might come back to this article and point out the fallacy after fallacy. maybe).


As a Team Atheist Nerd Goober I soooooo totally wish that THIS would be front page news. A Democrat Party Chairperson told the truth (btw, this site is totally sick) and said something like the only reason American Evangelical Christian GOP'ers support Israel is because it will full fill the American Christian prophecy of Jesus's second coming. In case ya didn't know Jesus can't second come until a state of Israel is established. When that happens Jesus will come back and then his dad will take (aprox) 80,000 up to his sick as penthouse called Heaven, and-this is the best part-then he will destroy da erffs. I'f  I'm missing something lemmie know.


I can go on and on but this post violates my rule of being short and sweet (2). So....DC Comic superhero, the Green Lantern, is now black and Muslim.

Have a great day everyone.

* I don't believe in "momentum" as it is explained and believed in sports. Must write about this one later. It's doosie. It's write up there withthe super fake  Home Field advantage.

(1) Don't let them steal redemption. It is not just for the religious. We can all be redeemed. But also, just because you play a sport doesn't mean that you are forgiven or redeemed in the real world, ya know, because you raped a girl (Ben Rapelessburger) or that you killed hella dogs (Mike Vick). Just sayin'

* I'm no good at forgiving (just ask my shitty abusing parents). I swear. I SWEAR, if I'am ever in the smae room as Ben Rapelessburger the shit is going down. I don't care that dude is hella big and that he might be traveling with a security guard posse. I know in my heart that I have the ability to...well, let's hope it never happens. There will be no raping of gilrs on my shift. Never.

(2) Kriss' made up rules for bloggin' his (mine) blog. Fresh everyday, no drafts and no preplanning. Keep 'em short. Just wake up everyday and read the paper until I find something. Don't use notes only memory. That will keep my deteriorating brain from...err, deteriorating. Nuff said.