Puking...It's Not Just For Breakfast Anymore

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The rectory of my youth is on the right.

Wowza...you know what is cool about totally puking all morning and then going to work, besides your abs being really tight the next day...nothing. You know what else is totally cool...when you (me) confuse the cross dressing meth priest with the handcuffed priest in the rectory. Like, are they different priests or is it different ways to describe the same weirdo. Anyhoo...

You know who can clear up the confusion, the bishop. I mean look at what a great job the bishops did with the clergy abuse scandal (aka boy fucking). Bishop Thomas Paprocki speaking about the Rev. Thomas Donnovan said, "(he) is suffering from a psychological condition that manifests itself in self bondage as a response to stress." So when Father Bondage gets stressed, he ties or handcuffs himself in a position where he can't get out because that, to him, relieves stress.

Me, "Whaaa(?)."

Look man I'm a freak about sex and not in a good way. I'm the only musician in the universe that doesn't sleep around. Y'all wanna do that, go right ahead. Unfortunately for me it is the last residue of my Filipino-Catholicism that I can't shake (nor do I see it's necessary). But wait...it's not about sex, it's about bondage.

Me, "Whaaa..."

I don't even know what this is.

Father Bondage's therapist calls it "nonsexual self bondage" and that was what Father Bondage was doing in the rectory that nite he called the police to *release* him. They found him alone in the rectory with his hands cuffed so he couldn't get himself out wearing an orange jumpsuit with a leather bondage mask with a bar in it (whatever the hell that is. yuck). Allegedly, he was alone.

Weird as it is...that is not illegal. Weird as it is... "non-sexual self bondage is not in the current DSMV (they are on five now, right). Weird as it is...I had to look it up. I found this and then I went home and bathed in bleach and did the rosary (1).

Who fucking cares...my abs are tight as fuck right now.

(1) Just kidding about that last part.

* No offense to anyone and their particular trip it takes many people to make the world go round and round and last time I checked...the world is still going round and round.

* I think they want you to subscribe to their newsletter. I did.