Today's Installment Of WoC Brought To Us From The Pope

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Today the Pope, yes THAT Pope, is a gonna help me...walk (War on Christmas (WoC) that is). Dude just came out with the last and third part of his series of books on, guess who...Jesus of Nazareth.

Here we go...

On the totally impossible virgin birth. He says yes absolutely Christians in 2012 must believe that their savior, Jesus, was born of a virgin. It is one of the times that God totally and surely intervenes in the real and physical world. Of course it is one of those tests (like believing in the rez) that the all mighty and all powerful God has for us mere humans.

"Dam girl, sure is cold in this manger." "It's OK baby, this is fake."

Give dude credit for admitting that the Three wisepeople could be a theological invention rather than a fer real historical event.

This one I'm not totally sure of. Pope-y says that the star of Bethlehem is a fer real event that happened in, like 7-6 BC. I'll admit that I don't know if this is true or not. I don't know if this is the Vatican fudging real science to adhere to The Greatest Story Ever Sold or what.

There are no animals in the fer real manger scene, you know where Jesus was born. Mmm ok, Pope-y.

He still clings to the fantasy that the stories in the bible are literally true. He says this because Matthew and Luke "didn't want to write stories", they were after the truth.

That is what the Pope-y says...here's a message from the mighty...Team Atheist.

It's all fuckin' fake.

First of all...is Jesus from Nazareth or is he from somewhere else. If he is from one place, then his mom and dad hadta walk thru the freekin' super cold dessert in winter time, when Mary was totally super fat prego. Prego women can't walk that far, in fact, it would be super hard for anyone to walk that far. I claim fakey fake on this one.

Getting cock blocked by the all powerful and all loving God in the form of virgin birth is super super unlikely. It didn't happen, but if it did, then it would be a miracle of miracles. Oscams razor...what is more likely that a virgin birth occurred or Mary cheated on Joseph. You decide.

Is the bible a true and historical account, or a symbolic and metaphorical story that people can learn from. Well, Pope-y seems to think that Matt and Luke were real people writing down the tales of Jesus' travells as they happened, but (even conservative) biblical scholars admit that the gospels did not have one author but 100's of 1,000's over the centuries. The first gospel was written (conservatively) aprox 50-70 years after the death of Jesus. I call fakey fake on this one. Sorry Pope-y.

He does not answer the awesome atheist question where the hell was your Jesus from 12 to 30, beeotches. Not only that...he doesn't offer any proof for any of this.  I'll give him credit for not tackling when Jesus struck another kid, and killed him, or when he turned clay pigeons to life, because they are not considered *true* stories of the scripture (it's funny to us because none of the stories are true whether they are in the gospels or not).

Looks to me that Pope-y is trying to continue the selling of the Greatest Story Ever Sold. This is the definition of propaganda (that is a nice way of saying...lying and being sold fodder). Was Jesus born in Nazareth or Bethlehem or Galilee. Get it fucking right, man. What about the missing years. C'mon man.  Frackin' balls I tell ya.

Lastly...what about that thing called ...evidence. What ever happened to evidence.



* The Greatest Story Ever Sold

* Where did Jesus live

* Book review RNS

* Article Who Wrote the Bible