God Wants you To Be A Hottie

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Well it's not exactly like the title suggest. It's more like God wants you to be not fat. We'll add that to the list of stuffs the big brother God wants us to be/do: wants us to be rich (prosperity gospel), depending on religion God wants us to only eat certain foods on certain days, God wants us to only have teh sex for that fruitful thingy they keep talking about and God wants to kill you, and then torture you forever and ever, if you do not subscribe to the belief that Jesus is the son/sun of God, died for our sins and will one day come back (in the lifetime of the apostles). Now get out there and start moving fat believers. Or not.

This person is so not hot, err...

Pastor Rick Warren of the California mega church, Saddleback, came up with the Daniel plan. According to him it's the best diet out there because, you know, it uses faith and prayer. In their simple six part plan, #2 is asking God for help. "You can't do it by yourself."Because you are a loser, automatically, if you don't." "To accomplish a new healthy lifestyle you will need to rely on God's power to take bold steps to improve your life." Riiiggghhhttttt. Just like one cannot have true and honest love, or be a good human, one cannot lose weight and be a healthy person without that God fella they keep talking about. #2 even says, straight up "Don't try and change by yourself." My response...codependent much.

Saddleback church is one of those churches that has attendence in the 10's of thousands...every weekend.

Apparently this Daniel the plan is named after shows glory to God because "He knew the only way to honor God with his body was to refuse the rich food from the kings table." Couple of thingies...it was previously thunk in general that because one will live forever in heaven that it didn't matter how healthy one is here on erffs. It's just like the environment. Heaven is better anyways, so why care about the erffs. Your earthly body is lame compared to your heavenly body, so fuck it. To bad all the other biblical characters did not live biblically, and I say that because this Daniel dude is the only one that shows glory to God thru healthy living.

After 10 days of his own diet, not the Kings diet, Daniel appeared more healthy than the kings soldiers.  Fo sho it takes more than 10 days to improve ones health, appearance and fitness. Hello, skeptics card.

This is the part where I say hijacking. Hijacking. Part of the plan is to move or exercise. Hello,everyone is supposed to do that. We are all supposed to eat healthy because, well, you will be more healthy than not. You don't need God, you need an understanding of nutrition, ya know...science. #5 is thinking smarter and of course...we are all supposed to do that anyways. Really Rick we are all supposed to think smarter. #6 says that the Daniel Plan is not a diet, but a healthy lifestyle. Pre-Daniel Plan we used to call that...living a healthy lifestyle.

Richard Simmons is Catholic. I don't know this for sure, but if he's gay, then he's a sinner.

It may be mean of me to say but it really does seem that the average believer is totally fat (1). I wonder if there is a statistic that shows the average believer is less healthy than the average Team Atheist member 1) because we understand and accept science (nutrition, physics, the psychology of aging) and 2) we believe that you have one life to live here on da erffs, so why not make it the best, healthiest life you can make it and 3) it is the right thing to do. Just like in all the other correct things to do...no God is necessary.

(1) I don't care if someone is big. That's genetics. But if you are morbidly obese...that's a sin against humanity.

* The Daniel Plan home