This Seems Like "Fun"

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Sure, it looks like a party, but don't forget skeptics, the five senses can be easily deceived.

I'll just say it. I would go to a three day hipp, err, Christian Festival with hella (Christian) bands and (Christian) hotties. And that is just what Wild Goose Festival is. Yeah buddies, three days of music on different stages, (I think you camp there) and unlimited seminars on Jesus. Fuck yea. Where do I sign up.

Friend or foe, or...faux.

No really seriously, I would check it out. Wild Goose East is June 21-24 (North Carolina) and Wild Goose East is Aug 31- Sept 2 (in what is probably the way cooler Portland). This is one of those events where I say give credit where credit is due. Sure they are promoting Christianity, which by it's nature is exclusive and elitist. But besides that, the organizers have the gumption (yes, I just used the word "gumption") to invite an out lesbian musician to the event last year (Gasp). That's something, right.

I'm lesbian, Christian and proud...even tho y'all think of me as a sinner. Jesus is Lord.

Wild Goose's executive director, Gareth Higgins (really, your parents named you "Gareth" What the hell is that), "We want to build friendships with everyone who comes. Sexuality causes people to divide themselves along intellectual positions. Rather than divide, we want to create a space that promote the common good." Very well said, Gareth if that is your real name. That is why this atheist would go to your event.

The nature of religion is divisive. It is us or them, our way or no way. When you add sex and sexuality, well, that is where all the super illogical-ness of religion comes and with that comes the Christian double speak and that whole not making sense thing that skeptics and atheist keep talking about. Anyhoo...

I don't really want to talk about their organization, the event, or theology or anything like that. I wanna talk about me. Me me me.

I got this phot from an article dated May 12, this year. the headline is "We will always throw bibles into the crowd."

Remember in the 80's there was the Christian band Stryper. They were a big deal and a big deal for Christ. They had the big hair, Marshal stacks, wammy bars with locking nuts and spandex. The thing is is that they sucked. I can acknowledge that they had mad skills, but their arrangements were winda dookie. Oh course I haven't heard them in a long time, but I'm pretty confident with the 1980's Chris' (I was Chris back then, not Kriss) feelings and review of the band at the time-they sucked. In fact...

(No offense xtians) But everytime Christians try and do something mainstream, or nonexistent heaven forbid, something counter culture and alternative, it just doesn't pan out. When Christian kids try and dress cool and hip, they look like a Sears catalogue. They look like their conservative Christian parents, and yet the cool parents, dressed them up to look "alternative", but they really look like a sore thumb sticking out.

Just like the 80's metal that Christian bands tried to imitate, well, I wouldn't call their results metal. And that goes for all the styles of music. Does hip hop in a church sound the same as hip hop in the club. It would be obvious to me if you played a Christian and non-Christian punk rock band back to back, which one is which.

Don't get me started on Christian hippies. I'll just cut to the chase. They look clean and look like they got their clothes from JC Penny's, Meryvns or Sears. Those are not hippie outlets.

Like I said, no offense. But what about the festival itself. Of course I can only assume but I think I have a pretty good idea that the Christian music festival would not be like my Nor-Cal hippie festivals. This is what I go to.





     There is a tremendous amount of drugs and alcohol, people drinkin in the morning afternoon and at nite, people walk around naked, in fact the last one I went to the showers were co-ed (and respectful at that), the party never and I do mean never ends it lasts all weekend, there is not one moment in the 72 hours there that you hear silence, I've never shared this but at 4:30 in the morning when everything is going as well as a 43 year old hippie dude like me can ask for, you can make out with anyone you want, hell you just took showers with them earlier, you just went skinny dipping by the river, you just drank all their beer in their camp, why not make out (1), Did I say drugs.

Do Christians have something on the sides of their bodies that produce pleasure that normal people do not.

Like I said, I have never been to a Christian three day music festival, but I really doubt that it happens on the level I just described. Sure there is music and dancing, probably some drinking, sure there will be Christian side hugs, hell, maybe even some pot smoking, but c'mon man it will be a watered down version of the real deal.  It seems like the result would be that same as any other time Christians try and be the cool kids in music, dress, or whatevah....it's watered down, yo. And the real, normal cool kids (2) can spot that metaphorical thumb that people keep talking about-because it keeps sticking out a mile anyways...

...but would I go, yea. But I'd probably get kicked out.

* Article RNS

(1) Look man I'm no stranger to the pretty ladies and I know that (regardless of my depression)I'm hot shit. I can't even count how many concerts, raves and music festivals I have been to and everytime, everytime there is the potential for the hook up. Thing about me is that I don't have casual sex and never have (thanks Catholocism). I'm not against it, I just don't do it myself. But have I ever been in the moment when I can see that simultaneously everyone is getting hit at the same time, the moment when you look around in all directions and people just start kissing: couples, groups of people. It is that moment when you look into someones eyes and you are totally on the same page and them youcome closer together and you kiss and say, "I love you, man" even tho you have never met ever before. No I have never been in that position.

(2) You can't try and be one of the cool kids. you either are or you are not. Any you don't decide that anyways....