Shackle Sneakers And Monkey Pussy

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What, no monkey.

Really, people are getting paid to make this kinda stuff up but I'm an unpublished writer. For sure there is no God (that, and I never tried). Let's get down to it....

This is an ugly product...

...really, really                     really. Not only did someone, but someonez' (plural), let this project go from start to finish...and this is what they came up with. Ladies and Gentlemen, I proudly present to you the Shackle Shoe. Gi figure, butt much of the whoop-la is that this product could be interpreted as something to do with slavery, and I can see that , but...

...the attempt by the designer and the philosophy the selling points, the theme of the whole campaign, if you will is that your shot is so awesome that you have to shackle your shoes to your ankles because otherwise you would lose them. Makes perfect sense, right. The average person would think that first, rather than slavery, right. Who wouldn't (everyone )?


It doesn't matter if it makes sense or not. They can make whatevah product they want and we can choose whether to buy them or not. Life is full of choices. If you don't like the song on the radio, then turn it off. If you don't like gay marriage, then don't have one. We can even choose whether to criticize the makers of the shoes or not (but who would skip that opportunity).  


The only thing that can make this any better is if the commercial was a monkey dunking on a different monkey, like a baboon or something, and the first monkey's shoe came off. Fast forward to the next scene which is the same thing, but my monkey bro (that really represents black people, there I said it) does a double cross over on an (this time) orangoutang, slams on him all the whilst...keeping his shoes on because of the slave like shackles (the last seen is monkey bro partying with a bunch of bonobo hotties (1).



The actual and, ya know, real promotion is Got a sneaker game so hot you lock your kicks to your ankles.

Really, people are getting paid to come up with these ideas.                                    Really

(1) If you don't know what a bonobo is then I revoking your biology card.

They are a woman based society and the bro dudes place in life is determined by his hotties position in the group. Which means that she is in control.